"Antsy Mind" 2024
Newest version 2025 (refined)
In this self-portrait, I visualize the experience of anxiety by painting myself as a girl trying to pin down a persistent, looping thought. That thought takes the form of an ant bearing my own face, an absurd yet irritating presence I am trying to control. The exaggerated eyes and pointing hand show the desperate urge to fixate on and manage a thought that won't stay still. The crowded, distorted objects press in on the scene, mirroring how attention splinters under pressure. I used acrylics to create a visual tension between smooth surfaces and scratchy, uneasy marks, turning an internal mental state into a tangible, frustrating, and slightly absurd drama.